When I moved out of my mother’s house, about 23 or 24 years ago, my mum asked me, if I would like to take my old school stuff or drawings I made when I was a child. I said I don’t need this stuff anymore, but today, I am happy and glad she did not listen to me.
When my mother died a little more than a month ago, I knew that the days where coming, when we had to empty and clear her flat. Since our two brothers are already gone it is mainly the job of my sister and me. And even though it was is very sad, to – in some way – erase someones life, someones trails off this earth, by having to throw away a lot of stuff, there are moments of laughter and lovely memories, I share with my sister. Today was one of the days, where we started to empty our mother’s cupboards and had to decide what to keep and what to give away. It was a long day and I have a very strange feeling after this day is over. I can’t really describe it, but it feels heavy aas if someone put a rock on both of my shoulders.
Of course there was a lot of stuff, where we asked us Why the hell did she keep this? For which case?, but there was one moment amongst a few today, where I though, that I was glad, that she did not listen to me and kept something.
When I was a kid, some of my friends and I started drawing picture of knights and armies and ships and castles and so forth, that we decided to glue together piece by piece, so that it became a gigantic, big scroll with a lot of drawings. A continuous story, which we started about 1984 or 1983 and where one of the last drawings is dated to 1987. Short before I moved out of my mother’s house, we had a pipe burst in the cellar and the paper roll got wet. Not soaked, but wet enough, that I thought I ave to throw it away, which I told my mum to do, when I moved out. She never told me anything and from time to time I was thinking back to this long-time project of my friends and me, thinking, that it is sad that this personal piece of history was lost for me. I mean, I know that this might not mean anything to anyone, but for me this was a huge project as at leat 5 of my friends and me, we were working on it.
Today, after we decided to call it a day for today, we quickly checked our mother’s garage to see, what is left to do here and there it was: my roll of drawings. She did not listen to me and just kept this bloody thing – which I love her for. I guess, neither my kids not my wife really understand, what this means to me, but for me this is pure gold. This is my childhood and plain, unfiltered memories to so many wonderful days, I had when I was a little boy.
Thanks mum for not listening to me!